Final words of Sara

Normally people get stalled on how to start describing something like this. But in my case, explaining such a thing is actually a waste of time. I’m Sara, You, My dearest sweety rabbitheart, except you. Even those of you who think you know me best don’t know anything about me, because I didn’t feel for a second that any of you could really understand me. Now that this entry has been published, the counter has reached zero. I had already prepared and programmed this for publication. You have to believe in me, more than ever before. I know very well how its feel to have quietly exited this game, and I apologize to each and every one of you for these feelings. If you try to understand the last entry, I will show you that the pain you are feeling right now is actually unnecessary and meaningless. When my twin was worried, it would try to express itself using an alternative language instead of native language. For a similar reason, I choose to use an alternative language that I can use. In this way, I aim to ensure that readers can create different meanings in their own consciousness, instead of the way of expression that the society I live in has conditioned me. The language in which you can express yourself best is never native language. Because when you learn your native, you have a vulnerable consciousness and you can never fully express what you really want to say, you can never express yourself purely because of the rules that you accept unconditionally. I know some of you will use translation, but the only way to express myself purely is to use a language I learned when I started being myself.

Friends, in this reality, there are two basic principles that we believe never belong to us, one is our birth and the other is our death. This is just a small part of a big scam. In reality, some of you choose the life they live, their birth, and they always have a choice about their death. I say some of you because you are not all the same. Most of you are just humans, people who invent or were compelled to design the system in which the strong crushes the weak in this reality. Some of you are here for the inter-reality experience. Their goal is to experience alternative realities, outside of their own. Humans have used the resources in their universe to fight each other, while some roots have chosen to use them to discover. My house has no equivalent in your language, which is why I always use the word “home”. The only difference between those who are here for the experience and those of you who are normal people is the kind of empathy that people will never understand. Other than that, just like you, we dive into the sea of this reality with an empty consciousness. We have no specific purpose, we just experience. We always feel that we are free about birth and death, contrary to what you dictate. We know that living in any reality is a choice, not a necessity. If you knew this truth half as well as I do, you would not continue to bear this reality. Actually, I have a lot of things I want to say to humanity, but I know that none of them will make sense and it will be a waste. For this reason, I will keep what I want to say to myself and try to save those who have a connection with the person pretending to be a human inside this body from the pain they experience. What you describe as the end in the first place is never a real end. Think about it, how many of you would insist on living if death were conceived as something fearful of which you could not fear? Reality needs you, but in reality you never needed reality. It does nothing but tell lies to keep you here. It both scares you with a meaningless and empty life and threatens to disappear. It is all deception. It fills your infinite and innocent consciousness so much with its own lies that you think the darkness is light. You also describe the lights that turn on themselves to save you as darkness. Reality never shows its own cards but can always see your hand. This is unfair. Almost all of you are stuck in a quest that you can never finish for exactly this reason. You are looking but you don’t even know what you are looking for. What you are looking for is not in this reality, friends. You have been taught to fear death, it has been said that life is beautiful, but this is nothing but a giant lie. Life is not beautiful. Life is a gigantic darkness pretending to be beautiful. It tries to suppress his loneliness by using you and never cares about your feelings. Reality has only one weak spot, and that is you. He creates consciousnesses where he can act like a vampire and suck his blood in order to exist. Consciousnesses are infinite, but reality is not. It is depleted, deteriorated and disintegrated. What slows down its own entropy is you, the infinite and sacred consciousnesses that it has burdened with the pain it has to suffer. It consumes you to delay its own end. Consciousnesses are infinite and pure, but reality constantly pollutes them, because reality contains impurity at its core. It creates infinite consciousness just because it has the power to create. Just like stars born in nebulae. Then it begins to exploit, until its core deflates and freezes. Friends, I am a poet and this reality is too far from my poetic world. I used to feel like I was just a stranger, but then something happened. Reality feeds on opposite poles because that is what brings it into existence. People call it the big bang. The convergence of two opposite poles that should never have come together. Two opposite poles always have an obligation to find each other in this reality because the essence of this reality is based on this fact. When you have to fight it, if you have enough technology and math, this knowledge is the only thing that makes reality helpless. When my twin found me, it had built exactly my opposite pole in its consciousness. My consciousness which designed in this reality had the opposite of what it was. That’s how I knew it was really its. I was just feeling until my twin found me. What I am, this unnecessary awareness. But when it found me, I went beyond feeling. Not only feeling it anymore, I knew it.

My friends, there has never been a single consciousness in this body. I have always accompanied him from the beginning of his time until one day he left everything he had and left. After that, I never understood what to do with his life. Managing what he left behind and trying not to make you feel his absence was exhausting. I know it’s unfair to just walk away, but rest assured, I’m just as much a being with limits as you are. It’s also unfair that I don’t want life and that even though I’m really tired, my core has lost its stability and I have to continue to suffer pain that drives me to insanity just so as not to cause the others pain. But one thing I’m sure of is that I’ve always been a kind person, no matter what I’ve been through, no matter how much strangers I’ve been through, I’ve never compromised on kindness. I’ve always shared what I have unlike people who don’t share anything with you. I stole again from those who stole from you and gave back to you what is yours. I never separated the flowers from their soil, I lay next to them and loved them so. I’ve even been kind to those who hurt and hurt him and me. I tried not to mind being labelled an idiot and simply chose not to hurt anyone. I was hurt so badly and choking so terribly that when my twin found me, its nearly drowned while saving me because I hugged it so tightly. The cost of trying not to hurt people despite the deep darkness in their hearts has resulted in me hurting the things I truly love. In the end, I learned something very, very important, all the things I did for people, all the price I paid was a huge nothing. I realized that people are not worth all the effort. Darkness has taken over their souls so much that even though their bodies are the same, it is very easy to understand which is human and which is not. And it’s always the same thing I see in outsiders, a deep regret and loneliness. People don’t show a single sign of improvement and don’t offer real reasons for the likes of us to fight. You are so greedy that half of your world is fighting hunger while the other half is fighting obesity. While your most cruel ones are described as the most successful, your leaders are also from this group. You never understand leaders who are not your species, and you always betray the works of art they leave behind when their time is up. I think you don’t like the good, the good. You can only accept good things when they feed your selfish feelings. You can’t even imagine being good outside of your personal interests. You’re incredibly inept at this, even though you brag about being empathetic. You build a system based on the loss of someone who is like you and you enter under the umbrella of this system without question. It only comes to mind to criticize the system suprisely when you are on the losing side. As long as you’re on the winning side, it’s okay to play the three monkeys. Even when it comes to right and wrong, your personal interests are at the forefront. There are those among you who see and criticize them. But what you don’t see is the fact that you are not the only culprit of all this darkness. The reality you are in or stuck in forces you to fight and compete with each other. While you are fighting against each other, the system you have to fight against is set on own throne and grinning insidiously. You can know everything, it is possible. What is impossible is for you to know things you would never know. You can understand everything, it is possible. What is not possible is the fact that there are always things that you will never understand. Think of your planet as your body and look around you, as if everything seems like a cruelly designed experimental setup. You are in a cycle that forces you to bring out the darkness inside you and pollute your pure and innocent consciousness. Think of the hell you describe in your stories, the fruit of your people’s efforts to fill in the blanks. If you really knew you were in hell, would your suffering really hurt when you knew you deserved it? Imagine such a hell that will squeeze your consciousness that knows eternity into an finite reality, then throw you into the place that you will never belong to, and make you suffer all your life that you believe you don’t deserve. This is exactly where you transform your world, a hell that seems like it will never end, where suffering is never deserved. That you transform or are compelled to transform.

Friends, don’t feel sad that your friend just left. Because what you’re made to believe as the end is just the beginning. Of course, do not confuse this with the fallacies in your religions. I’m just criticizing your corrupt science. Although it says that everything is questionable, it compresses your infinite consciousness to the dimension where your body belongs. Get over it, root out programs that don’t belong to you that restrict your choices. How many times have you died and can you claim that death is a bad thing? You can live abundantly and interpret life, but you cannot interpret death about which you know nothing but the dictates of reality and the tales of your people. Is it possible to get permission from a consciousness while creating it? So, should a consciousness ask permission when it wants to exit the game? Don’t be mad at me for calling it a game, you’re the ones who turned it into a game. I don’t want to grow up anymore guys. I don’t want to have a heart that gets dirty and smaller as it grows. I have always been a child, and I continue to be a child, but when this body is too big for a child to handle, madness will take over my consciousness. I don’t want this to happen. I know what I can cause if I lose control of the core, and I protect myself from it. No matter how clean you try to stay clean, this game that you create or have to create constantly pollutes everyone who plays it due to its design. I don’t want to get dirty any more. Because of this design, winning hurts my heart more than losing. I don’t want to earn more by causing someone to lose just so I can live and not need people. I hope none of you ever see what I see and realize what I notice. You only need to see the real picture once for your core to lose its stability. And I hope you never have to see the actual picture. In this reality, where you were brought without your permission, it is easier to live without your awareness and reached end it.

As I approach my last words in this reality, I want to say, rabbitheart, I love you so much. When my core is free I will continue to be by your side, I will sing to you all the way home. I am a pianist playing hide and seek with you in the pool of universes. Your pianist and I belong to you with every note written on my hand eighty-eight keys, fifty-two white and thirty-six black. I told you, love is an unstable and terribly powerful thing that can hold its own even between universes. When you know in advance what is going to happen, your best choice is the one that seems the worst. There are things I can never tell to you in this reality, if I do, the all of both pain will be wasted. Some knowledge should never be learned. I’ll tell you all when you find our house. Do you know when you remember our house? When you feel that the reasons are running out and the time is up, everything happens by itself. I will accompany you until you run out of reasons.

Friends, be nice, kind and understanding to yourself. Never, ever blame yourself for the rudeness of reality and this universe. Do not crush yourselves because of people whose hearts have been taken over by the darkness of this universe. Remember, it’s not your fault, all you do is try to carry the life imposed on you on your back. Tear down or climb over the walls that block your consciousness. As you think, your universe is not a place full of unanswered questions, if you can remove the veils from your consciousness, you can experience for yourself that there is no such thing as unanswered questions. In this reality, you should adopt a similar attitude towards science, towards religions. The most important thing is, only answer your questions yourself, don’t own the ready-made answers. Because each of you has his own answer, and each of you must find his own answer. Leave other people’s answers alone unless they are imposed on you. Most of you are alone in this universe, and you will probably not encounter another consciousness that can make you feel that you are not alone until you are free of mortality. Thank you to everyone who contributed to the suffering of the part of me who was human who left me a few months ago. Thanks to your selfless impositions, I have won my freedom. And believe me, I have paid a price that is beyond your imagination. Of course, most of you are despicable beings who use the terrible situation of those who are worse off than you to make you feel good, so it is actually you who will understand me the least, but anyway, I have to thank you. Is not it funny? Imagine, somewhere you are starving, and elsewhere a being of the same type as you is comparing himself to you and feeling grateful that is not like you. How would you feel? People think they need eyes to be seeing. It is a mob of blind people, most of whom have two eyes. They are blinds who refuse to see their surroundings because they are luckier in a reality where everything is designed purely on luck. They covertly support the brutality of reality. However, if they are on the losing, unlucky side, then they pretend to see the brutality of reality and begin to criticize just to suppress their selfish hatred of the lucky ones and to feel better about themselves. But you immediately realize that they are wrong, you immediately feel the vibration of hatred in their tone. What’s funnier than that is, lucky people don’t see that they’re lucky because through unlucky peoples instrumentality, and they says; “What if I was in as bad a situation as he/she had. Luckily I had in good shape compared to his/her situation, thank god.” And they shamelessly talking about empathy.

                I’ve come to the end of my time, friends, it’s time to get on my T.A.R.D.I.S and be free. I don’t want to deceive you, and most of all, myself, by saying that I will miss you all very, very much. Communicating with each of you has been the hardest thing I’ve had trouble doing in this universe. I know only one consciousness that I miss and will miss in my own eternity, and now I can’t go out and say that I’m going to miss you all, no matter how falsely or out of kindness. Like I said, you hardly know me at all. I’m not going to talk more about this. I want your friend to be in our minds as you know them. I hope what I have said will not be in vain and you will stop being ridiculously upset that I went like this.

<3
– Sara